Texts From Last Night · M2DOOM's Favorites

M2DOOM's Favorites Texts:

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(815): View more from Illinois

I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?

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(815): I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed? http://tfl.nu/umcp

Replies (13) Good night (3888) Bad night (1263) Order T-Shirt
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.

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(919): I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job. http://tfl.nu/800g

Replies (25) Good night (4863) Bad night (3512) Order T-Shirt
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(509): View more from Washington

Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.

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(509): Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that. http://tfl.nu/jsxj

Replies (10) Good night (5506) Bad night (1422)
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(914): View more from New York

she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"

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(914): she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it" http://tfl.nu/fy2z

Replies (41) Good night (13587) Bad night (1312) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.

(1-519): View more from Ontario

You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.

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(519): my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar. (1-519): You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make. http://tfl.nu/j6t1

Replies (12) Good night (9905) Bad night (1068)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.

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(832): I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed. http://tfl.nu/rvfy

Replies (38) Good night (8670) Bad night (1707) Order T-Shirt
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet

(908): View more from New Jersey

I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building

(201): View more from New Jersey

Tie

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(201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet (908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building (201): Tie http://tfl.nu/a5wy

Replies (97) Good night (43623) Bad night (1465)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something

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(570): i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something http://tfl.nu/ax1a

Replies (28) Good night (7495) Bad night (1608) Order T-Shirt
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(714): View more from California

I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?

(949): View more from California

I gave it to your brother to give to you.

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(714): I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it? (949): I gave it to your brother to give to you. http://tfl.nu/fwxt

Replies (55) Good night (13544) Bad night (5085)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.

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(843): You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield. http://tfl.nu/umxp

Replies (20) Good night (7214) Bad night (1070) Order T-Shirt
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(636): View more from Missouri

Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.

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(636): Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half. http://tfl.nu/fs6e

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(425): View more from Washington

her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.

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(425): her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle. http://tfl.nu/baj8

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(843): View more from South Carolina

plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.

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(843): plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone. http://tfl.nu/rlid

Replies (69) Good night (4921) Bad night (599)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.

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(248): I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk. http://tfl.nu/wafm

Replies (15) Good night (5099) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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(813): View more from Florida

Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.

(1-813): View more from Florida

I ordered a moonbounce.

(813): View more from Florida

Fuck, you win.

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(813): Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party. (1-813): I ordered a moonbounce. (813): Fuck, you win. http://tfl.nu/qedv

Replies (39) Good night (10236) Bad night (891)
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(315): View more from New York

She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...

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(315): She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this... http://tfl.nu/h8y9

Replies (50) Good night (12013) Bad night (1475)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..

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(270): they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out.. http://tfl.nu/o5dk

Replies (19) Good night (5506) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
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(260): View more from Indiana

I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.

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(260): I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/i41h

Replies (28) Good night (3625) Bad night (5451) Order T-Shirt

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