areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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