If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize