Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize