Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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