so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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