I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
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I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
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I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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