dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
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Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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