my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
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You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
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Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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