covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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