I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize