Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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