you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
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hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
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Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I still have a little drunk in my system
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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