yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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