Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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