Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just cropdusted the office
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize