have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
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By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
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I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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