It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
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he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
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Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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