I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize