God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize