I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize