white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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