I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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