I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
