Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
