New invention idea: vibrating tampons
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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