my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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