I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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