Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We had to coat check the pizza.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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