i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
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So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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