No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize