she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
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He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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