Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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