lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
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