I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So gin and wine won't be happening again
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The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
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It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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