He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize