I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
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I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
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I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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