this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize