My liver just broke up with me...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize