mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize