I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize