im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize