you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize