Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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