So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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