i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize