If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize