I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize