I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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