That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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