I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
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how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize