is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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